It’s Ok to be an Introvert

Do you sometimes feel like the odd one out? The ‘quiet’ one, the ‘observer’?

Do you have a tendency to beat yourself up for not being more ‘out there’ and loud and gregarious! Well you shouldn’t because it really is ok to be an introvert!

I wonder if you even kinda enjoyed the lockdown period - the time alone, the solitude, the peace and the lack of pressure to visit family and friends? Were you actually quite ok with it?

Do you see yourself as an introvert?

Introverts are:

• Reflective and like to try to understand why they think and feel like they do.
• Private – introverts love their privacy and prefer to keep their presence on social media to a minimum.
• Thoughtful – introverts take time to think about those around them and are intuitive to peoples’ needs
• Good listeners – they rarely cut people off mid-sentence! They really appreciate what the other person has to say and will be keen to show that they have their listening ears switched on and are not easily distracted.
• More likely to think before acting or making decisions.
• Very self-aware – introverts examine their own strengths and weaknesses and like to have a deep inner connection.
• More likely to learn by watching and observing.
• Reserved in social situations preferring small groups of close friends than larger noisy groups.
• Creative and imaginative.

You may have known you are more introvert than your friends or family. In truth we all carry some traits of both introverts and extroverts. No one is truly 100% introvert. Many fall somewhere in the middle - ambiverts. But even if you are 99% introvert that is ok. Accept it and take from it all the great qualities that you have to offer. Many confuse introverts with being shy. This is not the case as most introverts love to socialise - they just prefer to do so in smaller groups of familiar people.

One of the most common needs of the introvert is alone time. This is how you charge your batteries.

You might watch tv on your own, visit an art gallery, have a nap, get a massage or whatever fills you up with a reflective space in which to breathe. There’s no point your friend trying to drag you out for a party when you need your space and sometimes this can be hard for them to understand. But there probably is a compromise in there like a dinner out or a drink in the local pub. Understanding that others don’t always want to walk down your path is also something you have to be aware of and it’s always a good idea to be open and honest. Saying, “hey, sure I’d love to come and I’ll probably stay for a while but don’t feel obliged to leave when I want to”, is better than not going or going and resenting staying somewhere you’re hating. By having strategies in place is very freeing in itself. It frees you from worry and anxiety and pressure.

I don’t recommend you focus on what are your weakness as this serves no purpose at all, but instead let’s have a look at your strengths!

• Introverts are great listeners and have a natural empathy
• Introverts are warm and talkative
• Introverts are self-managers! They find it easy to get on with their job if left alone to do so.
• Introverts are powerful public speakers as they speak from the heart and are very thoughtful and mindful about what they say and the impact of their words
• Introverts are great writers whether it be in personal journals or in books or media.
• Introverts always try to think about others first. (This can be a negative trait if it becomes people pleasing).
• Introverts are natural carers – they shine in careers where they look after the mental and physical health of others.
• Introverts are creative and passionate whether it be music, art or sport, the introvert will enjoy expressing themselves
• Introverts love being self-employed and thrive in this arena

Here is a list of some well-known Introverts:

1. Albert Einstein
One of the world's most recognised physicists quoted as saying, “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” Einstein received the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921 and is best remembered for developing the theory of relativity.
2. Bill Gates
The founder of Microsoft, philanthropist, and world's richest person.
3. Steven Spielberg
Director and producer. Even one of the most successful, wealthiest, and influential personalities in Hollywood is an introvert.
4. Sir Isaac Newton
One of the most important figures in science. Isaac Newton was known to be "a deeply introverted character and fiercely protective of his privacy."
5. Eleanor Roosevelt
Though a shy and retiring woman, Eleanor Roosevelt "was a woman who gave 348 press conferences as First Lady, was a United Nations delegate, a human rights activist, a teacher, and a lecturer who averaged 150 speaking engagements a year throughout the 1950s."
6. Mark Zuckerberg - the founder and CEO of the social network site Facebook.
7. Larry Page - The co-founder of Google became the search engine's CEO in 2011.
8. Al Gore - A former vice president, presidential candidate, and author of An Inconvenient Truth is another public figure who found success despite being an introvert.
9. Marissa Mayer - Yahoo CEO who believes in quiet leadership and has admitted that, "I'm just geeky and shy and I like to code…"
10. JK Rowling. The creator of Harry Potter.
11. Mahatma Gandhi. Known for being the master of non-violent resistance, Gandhi once said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
12. Hillary Clinton. A former First Lady, Secretary of State, and current presidential candidate isn't an extrovert like her husband Bill.
13. Michael Jordan - one of the greatest basketball players of all-time. He also happens to be one of the greatest introvert athletes.
14. Charles Darwin - The renowned scientist and author of The Origin of Species was a quiet man who enjoyed solitude.
15. Meryl Streep is a three-time Academy Award winner.
16. Elon Musk. The founder of PayPal, Space X, and Tesla has been open about how he went from an "introverted engineer" to being the next Steve Jobs.
17. Frederic Chopin. This world-renowned and inspirational composer was so introverted that he gave only about 30 public performances in his lifetime. Instead, he played for small groups of friends and made a living by selling his compositions and teaching piano. Chopin’s most quiet and troubled times have become known as his greatest composition periods.
18. Steve Wozniak. The Apple co-founder gave this advice: "Work alone. Not on a committee. Not on a team.”
19. Barack Obama. The former president of the United States made history in 2008 by becoming the first African-American elected into the office. He's also a known introvert.
20. British star Emma Watson
21. Lorde - singer
22. Lady Gaga -  actress and singer
23. Lana Del Rey - singer
24. Amy Schumer - Comedian and actress

If you’re an introvert and you’re wrestling with it, then don’t! 

Take a deep deep breath. 

It’s time to let go of that internal dialogue.

Accept that being alone with your work or your hobbies is what you yearn for and it’s good for your soul.

It helps you feel present and whole. 

Doing what you enjoy is what makes you happy.

Notice who around you ramps up your energy and spend more time with them.

Spend more time with people who stimulate your mind. 

Accept that you may not feel overly comfortable with a group of extroverts and choose to be contented with your own space and thoughts and observations. 

Use all your strengths to do great things with your life and be creative and kind and thoughtful. 

If you are struggling, then please get in touch - I would love to help you.

You don’t always need a drum to be in an orchestra - sometimes a simple flute is magical too!